Directed by: Michael Tiddes
Starring: Marlon Wayans, Jamie Pressly, Gabriel Iglesias
An Introduction
Generally when it comes to most comedy films I generally don’t find most of it funny do to my high standard, I guess. Unfortunately when it comes to parody films, my standard is higher than any other genre. I still think Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein are the very best parodies, masterfully done by Mel Brooks. If Mel Brooks saw this film, I think he might die of sadness.
The Movie
A Haunted House 2 takes place a year after the events of the first film with Malcolm finding a new family and girl to be with. Soon after they move in, they find a series of paranormal events and no body seems to act like a normal human being. Seriously, that’s the entire plot, oh wait sorry, spoiler alert I hate everyone associated with this film.
Why on earth does this film even exist? Why is it that early screenwriters or storytellers are told, oh kid you’re stuff isn’t that good, come back to me when ya got the good stuff; only for dog-shit like this to get a wide release? It’s frankly insulting. I will say this film now holds the new record for shortest time I’ve ever wanted to turn something off, with a total of two minutes.
I fully blame Marlon Wayans with him being not only the lead actor, but also the writer of this so-called comedy that’s painfully unfunny. To start off with my list of gripes, the film looks incredibly cheap, even with a budget of four million dollars it looks just bad. Cinematography doesn’t even make sense, since its “found footage” and in some scenes no one has a camera, but yet there still is a cut away to a different shot.
As I’ve said before, the so-called “comedy” is cringe inducing bad and add to boot its racist. I’ve heard the excuse that “because it’s a black guy saying it, its no longer racist” but this even offended me, on several occasions. The film is mainly a parody of the Paranormal Activity films and The Conjuring, but since I haven’t seen those films it came off as though it were written entirely in another language, perhaps in a different time. If I had to say something good about it, I would commend the performance given by Gabriel Iglesias, for him brining the energy and personality that really gave the scenes he was in a presence.
This movie is truly a travesty to the film genre and has literally no value to get other than your time wasted and some brain cells to lose. Avoid at all costs. This truly is the worst film I’ve seen in years and that’s saying a lot.
0.5/10
The Video
Presented in a 1.85:1 aspect ratio A Haunted House 2 is generally clean in its presentation but overall feels tied to its “found footage” roots, I guess you could say even though it was shot in 4k. Colors are strong and details in close ups are really quite great. I did notice some black levels crushing in a few moments and video noise is apparent in nearly ever scene in one-way or another. It’s never intrusive, but is still there and shows a level of cheapness that the film has. Its not a bad presentation, but could have been better considering its origin.
7.5/10
The Audio
Presented in a DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1, Haunted House never quite uses the soundstage to its fullest potential, and as such, comes off as a let down. The majority of the mix is front loaded even in situations that would warrant some surround speaker activity. When the rear speakers finally turn on, they get the job done, but they’re mostly used for stuff being thrown off camera. Again, there’s nothing inherently bad about this mix, but it just doesn’t know its full potential.
7/10
Packaging and Bonus Features
Packaging for this release comes in a standard blu ray case and comes with awful cover art. I mean, I did some research on the posters that promoted the film, and I found most of them to be much better and more creative. (Even if they were riffs on popular posters already) Sadly the one they chose looks overly photo shopped and just….bad.
Bonus features are pretty weak in this section, but at that means there’s less to cover here. First up is Deleted/Extended Scenes that is more unfunny and pointless material that is clearly just improv. It’s an agonizing eighteen minutes to sit through. Some of this material is in HD and some is even in SD. Other than that there is a commentary track from writer/producers Marlon Wayans and Rick Alvarez and Director Michael Tiddes. It’s an almost unlistenable track for them to claim the stuff they make is good or even funny. Also included are a DVD and Digital Copy.
3/10
Overall (not an average)
Don’t do it. There’s nothing here worth recommending and these are not the droids you’re looking for. Move along.