What This Single Girl has Learned from
Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas
I pretty much despise any wedding show… except for Bridezillas. Not only do these ladies tickle my funny bone with their high drama antics, but they also make me feel like a better person when I feel I can’t please a soul. Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas seemed like a logical choice to watch not only because I will get a taste of their crazy again, BUT I also get their dumb ass husbands in the mix. Oddly enough, I got hooked on another level. Some of these ladies and gentlemen are indeed crazier than Gary Busey on a Red Bull, BUT some of them have just been dealt a bad hand, and need a little help to get them to a healthier place in both their marriages and their life.
I honestly started watching thinking that I had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common with these ladies… and sometimes gentlemen, but come to find out… I’m not far from them. There’s the large and in charge Portia and lying, cheating Byron, spoiled Jerseylicious brat Remy and meathead Rob, overly dramatic, shrill Kirsten and her doormat of a husband Seth, domineering Melissa and the sweet, shy, and sadly passive Chris, and my favorite couple the demanding Danni and DJ “Bigg Slim” Marlon.
And so, I’m taking a long hard look at the lady in the mirror and this series and applying it all to my own life. Learn from both my pain and the pain of these crazy ladies, and enjoy the top five lessons I learned from Bridezillas.
1. You can’t fix crazy.
Lesson learned from Portia and Byron
“You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.” Listen up fellas, it’s not that all of us ladies want you all to change to become better partner material for us. We want you to be the best version of yourself… heck, that’s what most of us want for ourselves. Change is inevitable, and all of us want to change for the better. But some men… and women are just stubborn. We see this with Portia and Byron. Byron is a pathological liar and a cheater. He convinces the entire house that Portia is the “Bad One” and that she is the reason for all of his transgressions in the marriage. When Byron finally admits to Portia that he has been cheating, she goes into denial. First of all, Byron has fooled her into thinking the directors of Boot Camp have forced him to falsely admit to cheating, and secondly, she loves him so blindly that she will defend him through anything. But Portia… you CAN’T FIX CRAZY. I would LOVE to live in a world where the love of your life can fix something as deep seeded as Byron’s problems, but I suppose I’ll save the rainbows and butterflies for a more winning situation.
2. The best thing about a person is so often their downfall as well.
Lesson learned from Kirsten and Seth
This is God’s brilliant sense of humor at work. And I find this to be true of EVERY man I’ve become involved with… or any friendship I’ve ever had. Take Kirsten… no really take her;) Kirsten’s biggest downfall is her over dramatics, but honestly, that is what makes her sparkle. Kirsten is an actress, singer, and dancer and has had a flair for the dramatic her whole life. To take away her love of drama, would take away the spark that makes her unique. The only problem is that she is so freaking annoying. Sadly, I have this problem as well. I too have a flair for the dramatic and have a tendency to get super loud without realizing. I suppose it is a thin line that you have to walk, and it’s all about learning to tone down the bad stuff without taking away the true essence of a person.
3. You never know until you ask.
Lesson learned from Danni and Marlon
This was a hard lesson for me. Just because a woman is strong, independent, and knows what she wants from life, doesn’t mean that she knows exactly what she wants from her man. Ladies, have you ever REALLY sat down and made a list of exactly what you want in a man? I sure as hell haven’t. Many of these ladies were not getting what they wanted from their man because they didn’t know what they wanted from them in the first place. And finding out what you want is half the battle. This was one of the biggest hurdles for Danni and Marlon. There is a great moment in the series, when the couples sat down, wrote out what they want from each other, and then discussed. The result is the couple finding out things that they never knew about each other. Marlon let Danni know how incredibly in love he is with her, how he was never inappropriate with anyone while he DJs, and how her lack of trust was really breaking their marriage down. He also let her know that even with a little baby weight on, that she is still the sexiest, most beautiful woman to him… this subsided Danni’s fears and let her break down her walls to really let Marlon know what she truly wants from him… including bringing bits of very a popular “Shade-y” book to their bedroom life… if you know what I mean (and I meant 50 Shades of Grey, if your mind wasn’t in the gutter like mine.)
4. Enabling is the worst thing that you can do to the people that you love.
Lesson learned from Melissa and Chris
Everyone wants to protect the person that they love the most. But there is a difference between protecting and enabling. Fate brings certain people into our lives to make us grow, and the person that you live the rest of your life with should make you grow. The person who just lets you wallow in mediocrity is not for you. Enabling is a dangerous drug. It’s like heroine… it wastes your health, time, money, and your life. This is a lesson learned from Melissa and Chris. Chris became known in the house as a doormat… a man who couldn’t speak his own mind- until the Tango exercise. The couples were instructed on how to do the Tango, and then were asked to perform the routine for the whole house. Melissa, in true form took over the rehearsals, dragging Chris by the ears with her. But when it came time for the performance, Melissa forgot the entire dance and silently started to freak out. Chris, in a sweet and surprising turn, took the lead, and stepped up to be the man that Melissa secretly wanted him to be. Chris then stopped enabling Melissa to walk all over him and made her own up to her mean words. And in turn, Melissa got a little nicer… just a little, she is a Bridezilla after all…
5. Doesn’t matter how smart, strong, or talented a woman is- if a man is insecure he is gonna act out.
Lesson learned from Remi and Rob
Now, I’m not saying that every shy guy or man who feels like his body isn’t the most rockinest thing in the world is gonna cheat, but I think that we all know that there are certain men who will never accept how truly amazing they are (same thing applies to you too ladies). And these people (not all), no matter how crazy amazing their partner is or even how much encouragement and love they are given, will still feel the need to bathe in the spotlight of the opposite’s sex’s attention. And sadly the very buff and sexy Rob is my example for this. I think that Remy is one of the hottest Bridzillas in the house… if not the hottest- I mean come on… she’s Egyptian- she looks like Princess Jasmine! The last night in the house, the directors asked all of the couples to turn in their wedding rings, so that the next day they would all have a fresh start for their recommitment ceremonies. The ladies stayed in for a slumber party, and the men decide to go on an unofficial bachelor party. Rob then gives some random chick a lap dance and takes her phone number. We all know that Rob will not use the number, but that is a form of disrespect. Remy tells Rob that he needs to get his act together. Luckily, Rob humbles himself enough to listen and apologize. I trust that he will take the steps to get better, but that doesn’t mean that his insecurities don’t linger…
If this series showed me anything, it’s that there is a love for everyone out there. And if these Bridezillas can find love… then dang it, so can I- because someone’s gonna slap me if I ever get THAT crazy. But they also showed me that everyone needs an ego check because none of us are perfect and we all need to work to become the best person that we can be even if you are a crazy Bridezilla.